Understanding Trauma Terms: What they mean and what to do
If you have not read the first blog post in this series, check out my blog from last week on understanding and responding to collective trauma after Hurricane Helene. As we know, trauma is often viewed as a deeply personal experience. However, when an event or series of events impacts an entire community, nation, or group of people, it can result in collective trauma. Collective trauma can affect communities in challenging their sense of safety, connection and identity. We know that Western North Carolina is still going through the worst natural disaster the area has ever experienced. That is why I’ve begun this blog series on collective trauma and what we can do for ourselves and our community to aid in recovery.
Survivor’s Guilt: What it is and what to do
In the wake of collective trauma, many survivors experience survivor’s guilt. This is the feeling of guilt or remorse that arises when someone survives an event that others did not. An unfortunate truth in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene is that many people lost their lives or lost everything they own. Even now, more than 200 citizens are unaccounted for. It is very common to feel survivor’s guilt in the aftermath of such trauma. I have also heard the term survivor’s grief, which might feel like a better fit- as we are grieving the heavy losses our community has endured. Some common ways survivor’s guilt or grief might show up are:
Feeling guilty for evacuating when other’s couldn’t
Feeling guilty for having water, power, food, etc when other’s don’t
Feeling guilty for surviving when other’s did not
Feeling helpless- wanting to help, wanting to do something but having your own work of family to tend to
Feeling helpless being evacuated
Grieving what others have lost
Anger towards others, yourself, or the world
Racing heart/anxiety
Lack of sleep/increased nightmares
Survivor’s guilt/grief can manifest in feelings of unworthiness, emotional numbness, or even depression. Individuals often struggle with questions like, “Why me?” or “Did I do enough to help others?” Processing these feelings requires acknowledging that one’s survival does not diminish the value of those who were lost and that it is possible to both grieve and heal.
Allowing yourself space to cope with survivor’s guilt can be difficult but necessary. We all need space to feel our emotions from this trauma. If you are not in therapy, finding a quiet time and space (even if you need to take a day off work) will be important to slow down and listen to your emotions. While you may feel guilty, this is a necessary part of recovery.
Some tools to help you cope:
Journal- write down what you are feeling. Sometimes it can be hard to identify. You can use this feelings wheel to help. Work on acknowledging your emotions and identifying what you need. There is no judgement.
Walking- while it is helpful to slow down and breathe, that might be difficult for some. If your nervous system goes into over or under activity when stressed, walking is a great skill to bring things back to balance and calm.
Talk to a friend, family member, or therapist about what you’re feeling. Social support and community are one of the top indicators of growth post-trauma.
Identify your values. What is important to you? What are the next steps to move towards that despite the guilt you are experiencing?
Don’t try to push the guilt away. Validate and tend to it when it shows up. And reach out if you need to. <3
Vicarious Trauma: The Cost of Witnessing Suffering
Vicarious trauma, also known as secondary traumatic stress, affects people who are not directly involved in the traumatic event but are exposed to the pain and suffering of others. This often occurs in professionals like therapists, doctors, nurses, first responders, and social workers who continually witness others’ trauma as part of their work. However, in the case of collective trauma, everyday individuals may also experience vicarious trauma by being constantly exposed to distressing stories in the media, through personal relationships, or by witnessing the pain of their community.
Symptoms of vicarious trauma can resemble those of direct trauma, including feelings of helplessness, emotional exhaustion, intrusive thoughts, and a sense of dread or fear. It highlights how deeply interconnected we are—bearing witness to the suffering of others can profoundly impact our own mental health and well-being.
It has been a beautiful thing seeing all of the volunteers and help that has been offered to WNC. We are all affected from Helene in one way or another. Watching the videos on social media of the devastation that was right in our backyard was a difficult thing. Going without cell phone or internet service for days prior made it even more shocking.
With vicarious trauma, you may feel the effects for some time. It is important to take care of yourself throughout this difficult time.
Some things you can do for vicarious trauma include:
Therapy. Therapy can help you organize and process your emotions around the trauma, regulate your nervous system, and help you identify your own needs post-trauma.
Getting out of town for a couple of days. This allows time away and space for your nervous system to find safety and calm.
Lean in to your support system.
Take a day off of work.
Schedule in your non negotiables daily to make sure you are taking care of you. Many people have an overwhelming desire and pull to help. However, we cannot neglect our own health and the health of our families. It is important to take care of yourself so you can be there for others. And to explore where you feel your role is for the community.
Compassion Fatigue: When Helping Hurts
Closely related to vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue refers to the emotional and physical exhaustion that comes from constantly caring for or helping those who are suffering. Unlike burnout, which is typically associated with workplace stress, compassion fatigue occurs when someone is so focused on supporting others that their own emotional resources are depleted.
This often happens to caregivers, frontline workers, and those deeply involved in their communities during times of crisis. In the context of collective trauma, people may feel a strong sense of duty to help others recover, but over time, they can become overwhelmed by the sheer volume of need and suffering. Again, it is beautiful and amazing to see the amount of people pouring love, care and support into the community. It says a lot about the connections in our little mountain towns! It is important to notice and address the signs of compassion fatigue when they arise because we want to recover to be stronger and more resilient as a community.
If you find yourself
Increasing irritability
Lacking empathy
Pushing yourself past your limits
Isolating yourself from others
you may be experiencing compassion fatigue. If you find yourself struggling with compassion fatigue, here are a few tools to help you cope:
Identify your non negotiables- what you need to take care of you each day/week.
Set boundaries around your non negotiables, and time allotted to help the community.
Understand that if you do have to say no to an opportunity to help, you are saying yes to rest and recovery so you can renew your energy.
Make sure you are nourishing and fueling yourself- trauma can lead to an increase in cortisol and throw off our nutritional needs as well.
Silence in nature can be helpful to hold space for yourself and your emotions. I know right now it is difficult to access some of our favorite places in nature. Just getting outside can be helpful.
Therapy. It can be helpful to process the difficulties that you have been holding.
Moving Forward Together
Collective trauma reshapes the way we live, work, and relate to one another, but it also offers an opportunity for communal healing. By addressing feelings of survivor’s guilt, vicarious trauma, and compassion fatigue, we can begin to build more resilient individuals and communities. Healing from collective trauma takes time, but with support, understanding, and intentional care, recovery is possible—not just for individuals, but for society as a whole. I do believe, with the help of the amazing community, WNC will recover stronger and more resilient than ever.
As always, please don’t hesitate to reach out if you want to discuss any of this further.